It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
they're like a gay fantastic four
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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