I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize