Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
