it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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