Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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