And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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