We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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