glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
