Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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