Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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