The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
