Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
