using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Randomize
