She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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