Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
