Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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