He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
that is very illegal...i love you.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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