Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
