We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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