Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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