I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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