i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize