is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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