i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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