so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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