If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
