I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Randomize
