he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
