i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
