Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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