better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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