just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
