Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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