idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize