can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
