I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
