This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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