He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
