I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
