True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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