oh god the rape fog is back!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
