I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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