There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
