There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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