Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
