"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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