She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
