How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
