You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
