Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
