I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
