I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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