All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I came so hard my ears popped.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
