I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
