im gay
i know
yea but for you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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