It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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