I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
