Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
