omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
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