They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
