I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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